A mother has been criticized after asking whether it’s unreasonable to bring two children to a wedding despite the bride and groom insisting they don’t want kids there.
The mom, thought to be from England, was invited to her cousin’s wedding but was told her children were not invited as they wanted a predominantly child-free wedding and didn’t class his second cousins as “immediate family.”
No children other than the groom’s daughter and nephew were invited; However, the mother was concerned about leaving her 8-month-old baby at home because she is exclusively breastfed.
She explained her baby hasn’t been able to wean onto a bottle because she has allergies and is refusing the milk alternative they are giving her.
The mom asked the bride and groom whether she could bring her baby and 2-year-old son to the wedding, offering to pay £100 ($121) for the toddler’s food, but the couple refused, insisting they had declined other requests from guests to bring their kids.
Posting to Mumsnet under the name Buffyzombie, she asked: “AIBU [am I being unreasonable] to think they should let me bring the kids as its different because the baby is poorly and I should physically can’t leave her her accept that my attendance is obviously something they aren’t that bothered about?
“In my mind, is it better to have two guests who you originally invited plus baby and toddler we would pay for than to lose two guests you originally wanted there as you say no children are welcome, no matter the circumstances?”
The post, which can be found here, received more than 100 comments, with other users insisting the bride and groom have every right to decide whether children are allowed at their wedding.
One wrote: “Yabvu [you are being very unreasonable] – if they say no kids it’s no kids (and a 2 year old wouldn’t care less!) Stop putting unfair guilt on them and just decline.”
Another said: “YABU [you are being unreasonable]. They don’t want kids there’s, irrespective of what they eat. Decline the invitation. Good luck with weaning and bottle feeding.”
A third wrote: “Yabvu. It’s not your wedding. You’ve known their wishes all along. Politely decline, which I’m sure given what you’ve explained they’ll be expecting anyway, and don’t embarrass yourself or them by asking again. Honestly, other people’s toddlers and babies aren’t that important to anyone but their parents; especially on the bride and groom’s day.”
Another commented: “YABVU and if you’re not only asking to bring your BF [breastfeeding] child but your other child too! Very cheeky and at two he really won’t know that he’s missing out.
Is there a reason you can’t pump and leave bottles there for someone to feed your baby while you’re at the wedding? the kids there.”